Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Where is the good in Goodbye?




"it's not you, it's me", this won't work", "it's better this way". 

Nakakapikon na mga linya diba? very old school, sounds so insensitive in my own opinion, kung ako yung partner mo, hindi pa tapos linya mo malamang nasampal na kagad kita (bitter?). 

         On a serious note, goodbye is an event that's never easy to handle,if this is the end of the road bakit pa nga ba natin pipilitin, oo masakit, oo malungkot, oo nakakabaliw, kasi kahit anong preparation pa ang gawin mo, masasaktan at malulungkot at nanakakabaliw talaga ang iwan ng jowa, sabi nga ni pareng Chris Brown "there's never a right time to say goodbye", pero ako naniniwala na there's a right way, think of it as a chance how you going to end up your love story that was once made your life colorful and full of meaning. Huwag din natin kalilimutan na we are not "SOMEHOW" but "STILL" responsible sa mararamdaman ng partner natin, remember that, this will be your last memory na iiwan mo sa kanya so better make it remarkable. Endings are inevitable kaya kung dati lagi kong sinasabi "I hate goodbyes" now " hello goodbye!".


         So paano nga ba? how will you put an end into something that once you never ever ever ever wanted to happen, as we all know that there's no words of consolation that will make it less hurt.



BREAK UP WITHOUT PISSING YOUR PARTNER OFF

           Stay cool,yung kung paano mo sya niligawan noon, i-maintain mo yung kakulitan mo until you give your opening statement. Importante na sa place ng partner mo sasabihin ang tungkol dito, let us say kasi aalis ka na at iiwan mo sya sa tingin mo is the safest place on Earth. Huwag masyadong madrama ang simula pero you have to set your tone na you'll sound sincere and simply start like "this is hard for me, but we need to talk about our relationship". 

TAKE A STAND
            Expect mo na maari syang mag-hysterical, jusme ikaw kaya? Kaya posible ang batuhan pisikalan, syempre hindi mo sasabayan better yet counter it with statements na hindi na magbubukas pa ng ibang tanong or topic. Avoid pointless argument and encourage your partner to accept your decision. 

DAMAGE CONTROL
              Huwag masyadong madrama pero show some emotion, that you still care and there'll be more for both of you after this. Never forget to mention your good memories together, medyo iwasan mo mauna magjoke hanggang sa point na tanggap na nya ang lahat. Otherwise baka ano magawa nyang di maganda sayo boy!!!
       
                Naranasan ko ang mang-iwan na parang wala lang, kaya nung ako na ang iniwan nalaman ko, putcha boy ang sakit pala. Yung bigla na lang mawawala at walang salita mula sa kanya, dun ko naranasan na umiyak na literal maghapon. Since then I came to realized that endings like break ups can be lite if there's a right closure, with an open mind and heart that is still cares although it's about time to say goodbye.
           
                                                          ***


Sources: Laurie Puhn, a divorce attorney, couples mediator & auhtor of Fight Less Love More. Men's Health Magazine.








Saturday, September 21, 2013

KALAS

             Tambay, basketball, DOTA, ramble, inuman gimmik, parepareho ng trip kaya magkakasundo, kaya kayo naging MAGKAKAIBIGAN. Sila din yung paglabas mo ng bahay mo sila kagad ang una mong gustong puntahan. Pag dumating na sa punto na pag sinabi nyo sa isa't isa "sasama ko pag samama kayo" o kaya "libre kita sumama ka lang", medyo pwede na kayo tawaging barkada. Yung tipong hindi kayo magiging masaya pag may kulang na isa, yung uupakan nyo pag may inagrabyadong isa sa inyo. Nandyan din yung isip na ang tropa namin ang pinaka COOL lalo na pag may kanya-kanyang lamesa ang bawat grupo... sabay APIRRRRR!!!

             Isa...dalawa...tatlo, hanggang nagdaan ang ilang mga taon, isa isang may nawawala, hindi dahil namatay o nag-ibang bansa, kundi piniling mag iba na ng landas. Yung akala nating mga tawanan, kulitan at apiran eh walang katapusan eh ayun na nga...wala na. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin nito eh hindi na kayo magkakaibigan, talaga lang darating sa punto na iba na ang mga hilig at priyoridad ninyo sa buhay. Malalaman mo yan kasi may mga senyales din naman, kung yung dating sinasabihan mo ng... "libre kita sumama ka lang", ngayong sya naman ang babanat sayo ng "ikaw nagbago ka na, di ka na namamansin", tapos ikaw ngiti lang isasagot mo, tapos magsasalita ka ng may mahinang boses, kasi nga naiilang ka na oh kasi nga awkward na, bu-bwelo lang sabay "sige una na ko." Isa lang yan sa mga senyales na di na kayo tulad ng dati, parang magsyota lang diba? Isa pang senyales eh pag madali ka ng mapikon sa mga biro nila, yung dati paginaasar ka ikaw pa yung pinaka malakas tumawa, ngayon pakiramdam mo iniinsulto ka oh kaya nagwo-walk out ka na lng, jan na din natin maririnig yung mga salitang "kaw naman parang di k na nasanay sa mga biro nya, dati pa naman ganon na yun." at ikaw din parang gusto mo rin itanong ang parehong bagay sa sarili mo. Pag may mga ganyan nang mga bagay, maiisip mo nang humiwalay, o kung baga sa mga sindekato ang pag KALAS.

              Gaya nga ng mabanggit ko, hindi ito nangangahulugang hindi na kayo magkakaibigan, gusto mo lang hanapin at makilala ang sarili mo sa mga pagbabago sa buhay mo at landas na pinili mo, sa kabilang banda respeto naman sa kanila ang inaasahan mo at pagtanggap sa mga bagong prayoridad sa buhay. Pag ganito ba naman ang ending eh baka magkakaibigan pa din kayo hanggang sa huli....... APIR!!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

MORPH

Never leave a child during crucial stage of his life,at this stage teenagers undergo character transformation and become exposed to a lot of factors that may affect their perception as they enter the harsh world of adulthood. At this point of their lives they somehow become responsible of their own choices, from get up to music and group of society they go with, sounds basic, yup right but this option is just a first step to bigger ones. But the question here is how they learn to look at things holistically, moreover how it affects his life once his decisions are made. That is where the confidence, regrets, being decisive and certain, self-disappointment, skeptical or confusion kicks in, and once one factor prevailed that is how the behavior developed that he will carry over in his adulthood. I don't know but whenever I see a person with a strong personality, I asked myself "who was with him?". 
         I read a journal of a teen who is now a well person I can say, in his journal, I noticed it is all about confusion and regrets and self-disappointment, he always blame himself because no one was there to guide him all throughout his days as a young man. But what makes his journal interesting is he was smart enough to let himself well-surrounded by people who have been through many walks of life, he constantly asks questions and advices whenever he needs to make a choice, and as I go along to the last page he learned not to regret making mistakes, for not making them you won't be able to make things right. Lucky him he thought of that,and he has these people, what if not? 
          Raising a child is never easy, you are creating a man, a human being, and you are become forever part   of how this person see things in life, which path to follow and decision he would make. 


By the way, that journal was mine. 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Midsummer night dream

      It was kinda dramatic that you left  after summer,  and so your warm touch with the brightest smile I've ever seen. See? That's the drama I'm talking about. but you know that phase between two seasons, the worry that now you're all alone brings you fear to go to your apartment and spend COLD night all by yourself, that familiar scene you saw in TV series, that you can't escape that loneliness no matter how strong you are that once you close the door you will breakdown and cry. Well at first I smiled and literally told myself out loud "it only happens in the movies"!, and after few minutes... I did, like an EMMY award winning actor. 

         It only boils down to the fact that even the real life comic person has their own tear-jerking moments and expect that they'll refuse your help, for they would think it's their job-my job. 
         Bad things happen, things sometimes go wrong, people change but life goes on. I miss you so bad but I have to get over it, like you were just my midsummer night dream.